Moon files noise complaint against Earth; Earth: 'You control the tides'

The Moon says Earth has been 'loud since about 1950.' Earth's lawyers point out who keeps moving the ocean around.

By Ron Pecks, Space Desk

The Moon has filed a formal noise complaint against Earth with the Solar System Housing Authority, its first legal action in four and a half billion years.

The complaint lists radio broadcasts, fireworks, "a man in a library yelling about a fridge," and the 1969 visit "where they left trash and a flag and never called."

Earth's response, filed Wednesday, reads in part: "You pull three hundred quintillion tons of water back and forth twice a day and you're complaining about our music?"

Mediation by the Sun was cancelled after the Sun said it was "too hot to deal with this right now."

Mars has offered to testify on the Moon's behalf "for reasons." Both of Mars's moons have declined to comment, saying they "do not want to get involved in this family's business."

A hearing is set for the next full moon, which the Moon says is "a power move" and Earth says is "literally just a Tuesday."