Wizard sues Galactic Postal Service over wand that arrived 'extremely bent'

Morvin the Moderately Wise says the box was marked FRAGILE, MAGIC and PLEASE. The postal service says it 'tried its best.'

By Phil, our Andromeda correspondent (a cloud)

Exhibit A. Exhibit B is a very confused owl.

Morvin the Moderately Wise has filed suit against the Galactic Postal Service, seeking four million credits and "an apology spoken aloud at a crossroads at midnight."

The wand, ordered from a reputable shop on Saturn, arrived bent at a forty-degree angle. It now casts every spell slightly to the left.

"I tried to summon a mighty storm," Morvin testified. "I got a light drizzle in the next county. A woman there is now very upset with me about her laundry."

Tracking records show the package went to Neptune twice, was left on a porch on Pluto, and was signed for by someone named "Box."

A postal spokesperson said: "We have no record of a wand. We have a record of a stick that would not stop humming."

The judge has ordered the delivery driver to testify. Unfortunately, the driver was turned into a newt shortly after delivery, which the defense argues is "a pre-existing condition."